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So you’re fresh from a broken relationship. Your trust has been broken, your life upended, your emotions are all over the place and the simplest things (like getting out of bed!) are monumental tasks. Giiiiiiiirrrl, I feel you! On top of that, you’re left wondering – “Why wasn’t I good enough?”
I speak primarily to women who have been cheated on by someone they considered a life partner (and are mostly now divorcees). A lot of them are moms. Guilt, self-loathing, a lack of motivation, depression, and anxiety are hitting a lot of them.
Out of all of that, the biggest question that I hear over and over is ‘why wasn’t I good enough for him?’
So, Why Wasn’t I Good Enough For Him?
Friend, let me tell you a couple of things. Number one, you were way too good for him. Like really…any person who will cheat on someone who trusts them is just not worth your time. I don’t care who you are, you deserve to be loved, respected, and prioritized. You deserve the COMMON courtesy of being considered when the person you trust the most takes any actions.
And number two – you will someday know in your heart that he wasn’t the best for you, and you will be grateful for the experience. Anyone who isn’t adult enough to have a conversation about being unhappy, about being attracted to another person, about wanting to end a partnership – is someone who should not be in a partnership.
Being Cheated ON Doesn’t Reflect Your Worth
Someone choosing to cheat on a partner reflects THEIR inner worth – not yours.
I’ve lived it. And if you’re anything like me, you know exactly what it feels like to lose every. single. piece. of the life you’ve been building. You know what it means to start over from scratch. You know what it means to no longer have a 5-year, 10-year, or lifelong plan for your life.
The actions of another person don’t reflect your worth. In fact, being a human makes you worthy. That’s it. Just being alive on this earth makes you a valuable and worthwhile being.
But I’m Scared. What’s Going To Happen Next?
That moment, when:
- you don’t even know where you’re going to be living next month;
- what your split-custody arrangement is going to look like,
- how you are going to pay bills on a single income – even what those bills are actually going to be;
- you feel like you’ll never find another partner; or
- you have kids to raise as a now-single parent
That moment is TERRIFYING. It’s the unknown, and every single thing that humans fear is rooted in the unknown. To be surrounded by unknowns and feel completely unsteady in every aspect of life and who you are is just an indescribable feeling that someone who hasn’t been through it can’t comprehend.
But there is a light at the end of the tunnel – I promise. You will become stronger, more self-confident, in touch with who you are fundamentally, and most importantly, you will love yourself. And if you choose to, you can find a life-partner along the way who will be an actual partner. And if you feel like you might be ready…read on!
Your biggest adversities, the things that you feel like you can’t overcome…they’re preparing you for a life that’s so much better than what you’ve even dared to dream of.
So feels the feels my friend, and when you’re ready to claim that fantastic life that’s waiting for you…let’s chat.
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